It sucks getting old

Jeez, has it really been a month and a half already?

I can't believe it's been a month and a half since I last posted to this blog. I guess the blog hasn't been as important to me as it has in the past. In the past, two years or better ago, there was a lot of confusion in my heart. I pretty much stepped back and took 2009 to think about life and where it was taking me - or, rather, where I was allowing it to take me. I didn't much like the avenue I was going down. The person I had become was not the person I wanted to be. I was letting people affect me who didn't deserve that right. There's an old saying: "no one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them." Well, I was letting them. Nine months ago now I said, "to hell with you, I'm not taking your crap any more." I walked away from some of the idiocy I had been dealing with for two years before. Idiocy that was compounded by the other forces. I pretty much told those forces what they could do with their crap, too.

The result?

Well, I guess, a happier me. I know that my decision nine months ago was the right one, even if it was a difficult one that should never have occurred. Sometimes, life throws you a curve ball. You can either swing or get cold-cocked by it. Sadly, I did the latter. I was reeling, dazed and confused for a while. But now, I think, I have recovered from the blow and come to my senses....and, YES, I do still have senses. Contrary to what those idiots think. To hell with them. Or, as the old saying goes: "Say what you want. Those who mind don't matter; those who matter don't mind."

Words of wisdom from someone who should have listened to them a loooonngg time ago.

Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. One week away from a new year. 2009 was a year of change. I hope 2010 is a better year in all regards for everyone, and hope this crappy economy picks up.

Roger

Something I wish I'd written

The Christmas Tree Won't Light

Last night
the Christmas tree wouldn't light
I strung all the lights with care
you know the story, hoping St. Nicholas soon would be there
but when I plugged it in the socket
thinking it would light up like a rocket
much to my chagrin
the room stayed dark as sin
the damned tree wouldn't light
frustrated, I had to keep trying
to stop the kids from crying
a Christmas tree
you see
needs to glow
you know
what can I say?
you need a tree for the holiday
and one that's not bright
is a horrible sight
now, I have to check every light
and that's gonna take all night

On Being Thankful

Well, now that Thanksgiving is past us and we're "straight on till morning" for Christmas, I've been reflecting on what I should be thankful for. It's hard sometimes to be thankful. It seems like over the past few years I've tolerated every idiot there is to tolerate on this planet. I've lost a lot; but I've gained a lot, too. I've had my heart ripped from my chest and spat upon; I've been harassed by what Harlan Ellison would call "arrogant stupidity"; I've been to the lowest spot I think I've ever been in my life, dear readers. But, even in the darkness, there were things to be thankful for. I've had great times with my children and friends; I've laid in the arms of a truly beautiful woman and felt a rare but, sadly, short-lived, moment of nirvana there; I've been more creative than probably any time in my life, and I have laughed. I filmed a low-budget movie - something I've ALWAYS wanted to do, and something I plan on doing again very, very soon. I've met and befriended some wonderfully eclectic peopled ("Better weird than plastic", I always say....and there are a lot of plastic people out there, my friends). So, I guess I'm just saying that I have much to be thankful for. I have my health (according to recent check-up) and I've fought some battles these past few years. I've won some; I've lost some. Some were ties, I think. I am thankful for all the people who have made my life a pleasure. Those who didn't....well, I'm not quite so thankful for them. But, I will not "go gently into that good night." I will rage, rage, against the dying of the light.

I hope everyone has a joyful holiday season.
Roger

Try to remember that kind of November

Here we are a whole week into November. Less than eight weeks till Christmas. You wouldn't tell it from southern Illinois weather this weekend, though. It was in the 70's today and it's supposed to be warm tomorrow, too. I took the kids to the park. We filmed a little knight fight scene that turned ugly (sibling rivalry can be brutal!) so I took the plastic swords away from the kids and told them to go play. I sat there and watched and soaked up the sun. Not a bad way to spend your Saturday afternoon. I splurged on myself this week and bought a new book by one of my favorite authors, Harlan Ellison. This is a little omnibus volume with two books in it. I had one of the books already, so I bought it for the second book, "Harlan Ellison's Movie." What a weird movie script....it has a 70 ft tall Boll Weevil devouring a farmhouse! I shite you not! It'd be cool to see this film produced, although the language is dated as all get out (very hippies 60's kinda talk). Otherwise, it's Ellison's usual flair for outrageous fiction.

On my fiction side, I put together STRANGE SEX STORIES, a chapbook of 56 pages I plan on having out there for the public by the end of the year, alongside LIL' FELLERS, another short story collection. I've been working on UNDER THE BOARDWALK and I have the second chapter to SUCKERS, my online vampire novel, finished. And, to top it off, I've been working a bit on SAMURAI ROBOTS FROM HELL, the "no-budget" movie I shot in early October. Check out some rough clips over at www.myspace.com/rogerdaletrexler

More later, Roger