Confusion and Paradox

Well, today is my daughter Hope's 7th birthday. I remember seeing her borne unto the world. The doctor had to use forceps to remove her from the comfort of the womb, and the plates in her head were scrunched up between the metal "spoons" of the forceps. I remember being sickened at that sight, thinking "that's got to affect her brain." Of course, naive me, I was wrong. She's sharp as a tack. She till has marks on her head where the forceps pulled her into the world, but no one would notice if they didn't know where to look for them. I do. I was there.

Anyway, today is both a happy and sad day. I am happy for so many things in life right now. My beautiful young daughter, my son, my legal-drinking age daughter Sarah, Stephanie, the most incredible woman I've ever known and her daughter, Stasi. All wonderful reasons to be happy. I am a rich man indeed these days.

Sadly, I also got the notice of the final court date of my marriage today. Isn't that ironic? Funny how God will try to depress you when you're happy. I had thought the farce that was my marriage to Hope and Darrien's mother would be over long before this. And, while I will always love the children I had with her, I have come to the realization that she was an absolute stranger to me throughout our marriage. Certainly, she was watching out for her own self-interests. I will never regret Hope and Darrien, but their mother?......well, that's a different story. It is certainly a paradox.....how to love them and how to deal with her. I am working on that. Unfortunately, it is a work in progress.

Confusing? You bet. But, I do know one thing....I am with the most incredible woman I've ever known now, and I want to continue being with her. The more I am with her, the more I realize what a farce my marriage was. This is a woman who genuinely CARES for me. This is a woman I can TRUST. And, in the end, if you can't trust someone you love to watch your back....well, you shouldn't be with them. They don't deserve you.

Sorry for the candid post, folks, but I'll give you a final word of advice. Or, rather, I'll let the Great Criswell from the Ed Wood movies do it. He said: "The future is where we'll live the rest of our lives."

Live for the future. Embrace the good in your life. Life is too short.

Have a good day.
Roger