What a crappy day here in good ol' southern Illinois. It was, as Robin Trower best described it, a "long misty day." The kids and I were locked up in the house most of the day. Our jaunt to the local mall proved hectic...too many Xmas shoppers. So, around 3 p.m. I decided to load the kids up and drive down to my sister Paula's house. They'd bought a beautiful new large screen HDTV and my kids sat there and watched SpongeBob Squarepants in the most vivid color I've ever seen. I started talking with Paul and my mom about things that had happened since last we'd all sat and talked. I got a divorce, my youngest sister sued my mother for $10K and got it, and the new woman in my life, Stephanie. There were some interesting points made, and I thought I should ponder on them extensively. My mother made note of the fact that my ex-wife never took my last name, preferring, instead, to keep her maiden name. I reckon it made things simpler when she fled for higher ground. But, Mom said, "I don't care how much you love a woman, if she won't take your last name, there's something wrong." Well, of course, that could be called old-school and decidedly non-feminist, but I tend to agree somewhat. Of course, I DO know at least one couple where the woman didn't take his last name and they seem to be as happy as clams. But, my ex only used my last name when it was of benefit to her. I tried to take that with a grain of salt, but I have to admit that it did grate on me. I suppose, in hindsight, it was an indicator that she didn't want to be here. Trust me, there were many such signs. The day she moved out, she said something like: "this is terribly unfair to you." I replied, "when have you ever been fair to me?" It was a question she did not answer then, nor has she made an attempt at answering it since. I suppose there is no worthwhile answer to the question, anyway, so it will go unanswered forever.
So, what does this have to do with love, you ask? Hell if I know. Recently, I've been contemplating the difference between love and sex a lot. You CAN have sex without love. Many, many, many people do. I think I did for the better part of a decade. But, can you have LOVE without SEX? Certainly, a strong sexual relationship is beneficial to both people in a relationship. But, is it necessary? These days, I think having someone you can truly rely upon in a pinch is more important when LOVE is involved. If you can't have faith in someone, can't rely on them to cover BOTH your asses, then you're just having sex with them. If they won't give you what you need in "love", then there's going to be trouble somewhere down the road.
Find someone you can depend on. If the sex is there, and it's good, you're lucky indeed.
Ponder that, my friends. I'll relate more as I figure it out better myself.
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